Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Movie Review: 10,000 B.C.


It's hard to take this one seriously. About some tribe of dread locked and dirty white folk who are attacked by a group of ass-ugly horse riding savages, who run off with vast quantities of the tribal folk as slaves.

Rising from among the tribal ranks, the bravest of the dirty dreadlock people sets out on a mission to track down the ass-ugly horse riding savages, in a heroic quest to reclaim his dirty dread locked woman from bondage.

Along the way, he and his small band of dirty dread locked homies encounter attacks from, among other things, the ass-ugly horse riding savages, a big-as-a-house wild cat, giant-sized mange-infected chickens, and a herd of snuffleupagus, not necessarily in that order, but by this point in the movie, it doesn't really matter any more.

Eventually, our hero befriends a mish mash of African tribes from the National Geographic Channel, unionises the labor force, and leads them to a climatic epic battle against the ass-ugly horse riding people, complete with rampaging snuffleupaguses to make it all that much better.

Of course, in the end he gets his prize: the dirty dread locked white girl, and accidentally saves all of dirty,unwashed, prehistoric mankind from slavery and pyramid building.

Or something like that.

3 comments:

Brian said...

Yes, but does the dirty dreadlocked girl compare favorably with Raquel Welch?

Palm boy said...

I think you forgot 'well-muscled' dirty dread locked people. :D

Gino said...

brian: hard to say. she keeps herself overly covered in this movie. i may have to do some research.

palm boy: so you seen it,eh?