Sunday, December 21, 2008

That Which Doesn't Kill Me...

Seems kinda strange that I go into surgery and then it takes weeks/months to start feeling 'right' again, and I know I haven't been much of myself of late.
I've seen others have all kinds of nasties removed, and short of chemo, within a few weeks are no worse for wear.
I brought this up with the doc. He explained a few things as to just why this wasn't a 'normal' thing I went through. Oh,well....

Finally, I'm starting to feel as if I might be turning a corner soon, but so much is still broken I wonder if I'll ever get back to normal.
Let me list a few:

The lower right quadrant of my face is still numb. Doc says it will stay that way for a while. (Ever tried to shave a thick beard when you have no feeling beneath it? Needless to say,I no longer bother.)

My tongue is off center. Seriously. Thick on one side. Only about half the dexterity it used to have. Much of my oral musculature has been damaged and remains paralyzed, but my speaking becomes a bit more clearer by the day. It's a slow go, but still a go. I'll take it.

As my mouth regains some of it's dexterity, I don't drool as much.

The feeding tube has been removed from my nose, and replaced with a different one in my abdomen instead. This means I can leave the house with out being stared at. It also eases overall physical mobility. The downside: having to be anesthetized for this procedure last week means the breathing tube tweaked out my throat again, setting my voice back about two weeks. (Damn!)

The voice has gone from soft and raspy, to medium and raspy, but with better enunciation. Still can't be heard from across the room. I can be heard across the dinner table if everybody else shuts up first, but I tend to avoid dinner tables for obvious reasons.

One eye droops a little.

Like I explained before, my throat is paralyzed. This means that life for me consists of hocking and spitting, about every few minutes or so. Also, chronic halitosis. After brushing and mouthwash, I'm good for about one hour, before I need to hit the mouthwash bottle again. Gross,huh?

Dry spots that occur in my throat cannot be remedied by simply swallowing, and generally result in a violent,uncontrollable coughing fit (that sometimes will empty the contents of my gut, as well.) For this reason, I avoid getting behind the wheel of the car. (My car still has 1/2 tank full of $4 gas.)

On the plus side:

The gnarly, layers-deep abrasion/sore below my left shoulder (a result of surgery) has finally gone bye-bye, and no longer hurts.

I am free of any and all nicotine cravings. I think I was just generally too fucked up to recognize any withdrawal symptoms for it to be much of a struggle,anyway.

That tumor will never threaten me again.

I was 5'9" and weighed 170 when I left high school back in 1982. The morning of surgery I was at 208. I'm down to 182 now.

No more dizzy spells while climbing the stairs.

Doctor says it looks like,just maybe, if things continue to go well ('well' for whom,I wonder), I may get my swallowing back in 3-6 months.
3-6 months!!! Not sure if I categorize this as good news or bad news.

15 comments:

RW said...

Well... it hasn't helped your damn personality much!

(joke! - I'm actually jealous about the weight loss. You bum).

kr said...

Congratulations on losing the tobacco craving!! (Prevents other tumors!)

I am glad to hear you are doing better. After what sounded like a very extensive surgery in a very delicate area, I was worried you might not have an easy recovery : ( ... but I figured your, er ... indomitable spirit meant you would kick whatever happened, eventually. Sounds like you're on it ;).

God bless, take care ... and Merry almost-Christmas :).

kingdavid said...

Sounds like my mechanic telling me about our cars; except he never usually mentions any plus sides.

Could you ram a nice chunk of kielbasa into that stomach tube? If not, I'll just have to eat your Christmas present myself.

Gino said...

RW: my personality is like gold. dig through enuf gravel and you might a nugget.

KR:yeah, i gotta give every demon his due. then i'll get mine, and enjoy it in spades.

KD: save it for next year. along with the dry-cured salami. and the summer sausage.
what is it about Christmas that makes me want those sausage foods?

Mark Heuring said...

Hang in there, Gino. The worst is over now.

Jade said...

It's slow progress, but it sounds like you are moving in a positive direction.

Hang in there :)

Natalia said...

Hi, how can I contact you?

I want to start, a list of philosophy BLOGS. A small presentation of the thing, a library or address book. But one question I don't know is, how to contact people through blogs, I'm not familiar with this medium.

If time permits, I want you to make a post here,

http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/conversation-f8/

It will get stickied and start a list of philosophy blogs. You could write a small intro too, like "Here is a index and library of PHILOSOPHY blogs ...."

Already an index of BBS is here,
http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/conversation-f8/the-community-of-ephilosophers-philosophy-bbs-sites-t9.htm

Kind regards,

- Niki

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