Tuesday, January 23, 2007

What I Want To Hear, But Won't, So Won't Bother Listening

My fellow Americans,
Three Score and One year ago, our nation showed its great war-making prowess with the bombing of Dresden. An honorable and driving-home-the-point act of excessive and gratuitous violence. It was war fought back in the time, not that long ago, when war meant something. Back then we didn't worry about the hearts and minds of our enemy. We conquered them. We battled their armies. We slaughtered their men. We killed their children while they slept in their beds. We made their women cry. We ground their cities into smoldering dust and rubble. We kicked their ass. All of them.
America was master of the world. We proved it. They accepted it.

Today, the State of the Union is sissified.
We are stuck in a war we have not the will to win.
We care too highly for the tender sensitivities of the enemy.
We respect their dignity.
We honor their lives, pay tribute to their leaders, and wish the very best for them.
We are undermined at home and abroad by pantywaisted foreign policy 'experts',while our own politicians play partisan games with our soldiers' lives in an attempt to gain power for themselves.

Unless we can stomach the will to create more Dresdens, we will face our own Dresden at home. Weakness feeds the enemy. And we are weak.

Let my presidency be an example to any future president. You cannot lead a nation into war, even with the best of intentions, that is not willing to win that war the way wars have always been won in the past.

I am calling upon the American people to stand with me while I totally revamp the way America views its foreign policy. We will no longer intervene in other nation's affairs. We will not spread our democratic values through the barrel of a gun. We will not interfere in genocides or famines on in other lands. We have engaged in the foolery of nation building for the last time.
To implement this new strategery, I have ordered all United States armed forces currently serving abroad to withdraw back home, blowing the hell out of their bases, pillaging all they can carry, destroying the cities they have until now patrolled, poisoning the ground water and sowing salt into the earth on their way out.
Starting tomorrow morning, I have ordered the Army to begin the demolition of the United Nations building, and a memorial to non-interventionism erected in its place.
We will withdraw foriegn aid funding.
Real Homeland Security begins in our homes. In recognition of this, I am calling for, and will work to enact, a constitutional ammendment reversing the Kelo decision.
And we can do all this without raising taxes.


Brian said...

Um...hear, hear!

Palm boy said...


Vanesa Littlecrow W. said...

Speaking of depressingly pusillanimous govermental responses:

SolaMeanie said...

What's really ironic is that Bush went into this saying that we had learned the lessons of Vietnam. Well, we're still making the same mistakes, including making our military fight with their hands tied behind their backs.

Maybe if New York City or Des Moines gets nuked, things will change, but even then I doubt it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but can we keep our CIA and other intelligence services, or better yet, shouldn't we beef them up? We'll especially need to keep an eye on other countries even if we are 'staying' out of them.

With your new policy, Gino, what would you say to a country like the Philippines if the asked for help with their country's battle against Abu Sayyaf's goons? Would you say, 'no' or 'yes'?

Gino said...

the answer would be 'no'.

the philipines have had a muslim problem long before we got involved there. it is clearly a domestic issue for them, not one for us.
getting involved would just make our own muslim problem worse. like we really need more of that.

kingdavid said...

One thing I've often wondered about with countries like Germany. They whine and moan and bitch about America constantly; what would happen if we did pull out and close every military base we have there---what would be the economic consequences to the local communities---how much whining, bitching and moaning would go on then when probably hundreds of millions of dollars would disappear from their yearly coffers.

Kal said...

Let the bombing begin in five minutes.