Monday, December 11, 2006

Eat More Beef,Drink More Beer

Meet the world's top destroyer of the environment. It is not the car, or the plane,or even George Bush: it is the cow. LINK
The United Nations says so, so it must be true.
A United Nations report has identified the world's rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species, from producing deserts to creating dead zones in the oceans, from poisoning rivers and drinking water to destroying coral reefs.
Thanks to the UN, we dont need to feel guilty about driving SUVs anymore. These beef herds are even bigger polluters than first-world humanity can ever hope to be.
And their wind and manure emit more than one third of emissions of methane, which warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide.
OK, so i guess the problem isnt beef herds, exactly. It appears to me the real problem is beef herds that are standing around and making 'wind' for too long.

According to the report, milk production is also devastating the earth's water supply.
Cows also soak up vast amounts of water: it takes a staggering 990 litres of water to produce one litre of milk.
I'm glad my lifestyle shuns gratuitous milk consumption, making beer my main beverage of choice. Since it only takes 50 litres of water to produce 1 litre of beer, I know I must be doing something right.

Now we know what we must do as good stewards of the environment.
Eat more beef.
More often.
And wash it down with lots of beer.
You'll be doing your part for the environment.
And your life will be happier, too.


gino's future-son-in-law said...

Ain't you supposed to be at work? People need their cardboard y'know!

Gino said...

damn your quick, boy...
i just posted this thing.

DerickM said...

I never miss my favorite dago's ramblings.

Andy said...

And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species

Okay, I am seriously unable to imagine how a cow could be responsible for alien species introduction. Are they adopting pet caimans or something?

I think you're not necessarily drawing the smart conclusions here. Yes, cows contribute to problems associated with global warming, and we should find meaningful ways to address and limit those problems where possible. But they are an important food source; even if you don't eat beef, humanity can't really survive without dairy.

So the answer, in addition to attempting to solve these problems (without holding cows responsible for something over which they have no control), is to examine what factors we can effectively reduce. Just because cows might be the largest single factor in global warming does not mean we should not be looking for alternative energy sources and protecting the environment in other ways.

Gino said...

my solution is to not let cattle stand around too long. we should eat them soon as possible, limiting 'wind' and waste.

DerickM said...

I have a interesting picture in my head of a cow with a machine strapped to its ass that turns the methane into energy lol.